Well... reflecting on the past few weeks, it has been quite a learning curve and I have reaffirmed my belief in certain aspirations which were becoming distant. Dreams and goals of a personal nature.
In the midst of working harder than ever before, to earn a living, concerns avail. I worry. I have always been a worrier. I do not want to get caught up in a rut again. My job is full time and all consuming. This is my worry. Why? I hear you ask. The answer, my friends, is losing sight of my true path. Work is a means of survival and discipline. Recently I was told that I didn't like rules. Does anyone? When something hopes to turn you in to someone removed completely from your natural self, then, I will have to agree with this sweeping statement. I have values and standards, which, I feel, show an integral person. I am honest, reliable and do a great job, when energised and focused.I have had very positive feedback from many customers and can say, without guilt, that I am skilled and talented in more ways than I ever give myself any acknowledgement or credit for. So... what am I getting at and what is the problem... why worry?
I am an individual. A free spirit. So... imagine a Snow Leopard or Cheetah. These incredible and stunning animals have been designed to perfection. They have individual skills adapted to suit their environment and lifestyle. Now... imagine if the Cheetah was taken out of the Savannah and put in side a fenced off area. No prey to chase or hunt. No reason to accelerate to seventy miles per hour or to utilise its honed instincts. Take the Snow Leopard. Amazing climber. Evolved to survive in mountainous terrain. Its stealth and beauty is surpassing. Now... picture this... The Snow Leopard (actually, six or seven of them), wrapped across someone's shoulders. Its dense, soft tail - necessary for balance when climbing and leaping and for warmth. The tail wraps around the cat's body, when curled up, like a thick, insulating, 'super - scarf'. Think of this... draped around a human neck, like some trophy.
The point I am trying to make, without meaning to seem pretentious or 'special', is that some of us are destined for something else. We are designed to create or express or heal... and, not to live by another's order. However, thankfully, we are all unique. Some folk are happy to follow a routine day in and day out. They do not have the courage or desire to question beyond just that. Sadly, ( or happily) this is why I worry. I do question. I do wonder. I do not like feeling restricted... I have much potential and need to run at seventy miles per hour... I do not want to be draped like some glamourous robot. I need the freedom to climb in my own skin.
Darwin once said, "We are all exactly where we are meant to be... " Sometimes, though, I cannot help but argue that isn't it what we hope for. Most of us are not where we are meant to be.. But, maybe the brave strive to be where they want to be?
That said, Just know this... never stop scratching the itch deep inside. Stay in tune with your instincts, for they will guide you back to your truth. And... all you have to do is listen.